“Heaven Help Us” (1985) dir. Michael Dinner, scr. Charles Purpura

One of the most pleasant surprises I’ve come across recently on HBO On Demand is seeing “Heaven Help Us” again for the first time since 1985.  This was a film that was promoted as a crass “Porky’s”-style teen sex comedy back in the day, but it’s so much more than that.  It’s an extremely funny, sometimes raunchy, but also frequently poignant look at a group of teenagers in Catholic high school in Brooklyn back in the mid-1960s.  The cast includes Andrew McCarthy, John Heard, Donald Sutherland, Wallace Shawn, a pre-“Entourage” and “Platoon” Kevin Dillon, a VERY young Patrick Dempsey, Stephen Geoffreys, Yeardley Smith (Lisa Simpson’s voice), and Mary Stuart Masterson in one of her first roles.  This is far from a perfect film, but it’s so damn good and much better than its critical and popular reception back in the day.  It’s weird to imagine this was considered disposable teen trash back in the day, because it’s not only better than most teen films released in the last several years, but much better than a lot of mainstream films released in the last 30 years.   Seriously, this is a sleeper that’s worth rediscovering.  The attached scene here is a school Brother, hilariously played by Wallace Shawn, delivering a stern lecture before a high school dance.  And yes, I still have more than a little crush on Mary Stuart Masterson’s character even 30 years later. Dave says check it out!

“Physical (You’re So)” – Adam & The Ants

I first heard this as a bonus track on Nine Inch Nails’ pulverizing 1992 EP “Broken.”  I thought this was an original and found out much later it was actually a cover of an Adam & The Ants song.  I checked out the Ants’ version, fully expecting it to be in the same mode of their other music:  upbeat, percussion-heavy pop.  All I can is that I was WAAAAY off-base in my assumption.  Adam & The Ants must have been listening to Killing Joke and Public Image Ltd. back in the day, because this is really, really heavy and intense.  In fact, it almost sounds like … you guessed it … Nine Inch Nails, but nearly 10 years before Nine Inch Nails.

“Dirt” – Spider Heart

Just discovered this incredible new band today, Spider Heart from San Francisco.  They could best be described as a cross between early Wire, the Stooges, Jane’s Addiction, Black Sabbath, and the Nymphs.  But even that description falls far short.  There are few bands that can be described as true originals and Spider Heart is one of them.   Lead singer May Black has been described as a cross between Iggy Pop and Janis Joplin and damn if that’s not an accurate assessment.  Except I would also throw Inger Lorre, Courtney Love, and Darby Crash into that mix.  This is authentically dangerous and thrilling music and if you like what you hear, do yourself a favor and check out their awesome EP “Dirt” available on iTunes and Google Play.  And of course, you can also enjoy them on Dave’s Strange Radio!

Harvey Keitel and Ellen Burstyn in “Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore” (1974) dir. Martin Scorsese

This is an incredibly intense scene from Martin Scorsese’s 1974 follow-up to “Mean Streets,” the proto-feminist “Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore.”  The recently widowed Alice, portrayed by Ellen Burstyn, discovers that the man she has hooked up with (played by Harvey Keitel) is married with a child.  Keitel’s character then appears and unleashes a very scary side to his personality that Alice has not seen before.  Even though there’s not a lot of bad language per se, the intensity of this scene is shocking for a then PG-rated film.  Seriously, this entire scene is extraordinarily weird and disturbing for a mainstream film, but then again, that was Hollywood in the 1970s.  Burstyn earned an Oscar for her performance in “Alice,” which while well-deserved, probably should have earned it for “The Exorcist” or “Requiem for a Dream.” Still, a great performance and an amazing look at how ballsy mainstream American cinema once was.

“Tusk” – Fleetwood Mac … as depicted in a deleted scene from P.T. Anderson’s “Boogie Nights” (1997)

There’s a brilliant and crucial, nearly 6-minute scene from “Boogie Nights” that was deleted before its theatrical release set to Fleetwood Mac’s “Tusk” that should be seen by any fan of the film.  In it, Becky Barnett (played by Nicole Ari Parker), the porn actress that got married to a Pep Boys manager, finds her new life outside the industry to be a nightmare of domestic violence, a scene all-too-common when a porn star marries a “civilian.”  The civilian, in question, is turned on by the notion of being with a porn star, but paradoxically, can’t handle that person’s past.  It’s the Madonna-whore complex at its ugliest.  Becky calls on Dirk Diggler (played by Mark Wahlberg) to rescue her, but he’s so far gone on cocaine to be an effective savior for Becky, wrecking his car on the way to saving her.

It’s likely Anderson deleted the scene from the final film because of the film’s overall length (already at over 2.5 hours), but he also mentioned (in the DVD commentary) he thought this was too depressing a scene for a film that has enough dark moments in its last third and that by deleting it, he wanted to give at least one of his characters a happy ending (Becky’s wedding earlier in the film).  While I don’t think the scene’s deletion detracts from the film, its inclusion would have made the final third more powerful, albeit more depressing.  Still, at the end of the scene, there’s no clue what happens to Becky after she confronts her husband.  So … as much as I admire this scene … Anderson probably made the best choice in deleting it.  Given that, it’s still worth seeing.  Please note that this is a very unpleasant scene to watch and is not safe for work or delicate sensibilities.

“Easy Eggs” – Life in a Blender

Life in a Blender are an extremely cool band that could best be described as Camper Van Beethoven and Tom Waits getting Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers really, really drunk … though even that doesn’t do them justice.  They may be quirky, but while I realize the adjective “quirky” can be a negative these days, trust me when I say they are quirky in the BEST way.  They’re terrific musicians with unconventional skewed lyrics and I’m not quite sure my lame analogy above even remotely does them justice.  The best thing I can say about them is that they are true originals and their style is next-to-impossible to copy or duplicate.  My biggest surprise is that they’ve been around since the 1990s and I haven’t heard of them until this past week.  In any case, you’re encouraged to check them out … specifically on Dave’s Strange Radio, where they have been generously thrown into rotation.

“Cheech & Chong’s Next Movie” (1980) dir. Tommy Chong

In honor of the “Dumb and Dumber” sequel being released this weekend, I thought I would give a shout-out to the original “Dumb and Dumber” duo, Cheech & Chong.  I saw this movie for the first time in January 1982 on HBO when I was 12 years old and sick with the flu.  It was one of the worst flu’s I’ve ever had, but up until that moment in my life, no movie ever made me laugh harder this this one and I directly credit the endorphins that this film released with my recovery a day afterwards.  Maybe I was on way to recovery anyway … who knows?  Who cares!  After nearly 35 years, this film still holds up as a demented and surreal comedy masterpiece and is the BEST of all the Cheech & Chong movies.  “Up in Smoke” is really good, but “Next Movie” is much better in my opinion.

Included here are several scenes from the film.  Most of them are juvenile and stupid and not safe for work.  But even as a jaded mid-40s something, they still make me laugh.

My favorite scene is a weird scene where the fellas visit the local welfare office so Cheech can get a quickie with one of his girlfriends while Chong sits in the lobby with clinically insane people, including … what I believe is … the first appearance of Michael Winslow in a film.  This looks like an outtake from a Robert Downey Sr. film.

Cheech sings “Mexican Americans”

The “soap” scene:

Chong’s “guitar solo”

Motorcycle scene

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdpb4YFu8U0

Chuck Klosterman on Ted Nugent from the book “Fargo Rock City” (2001)

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One of my favorite pieces of rock criticism … as well as psychology about a certain type of “friend” many people have during their teens / early 20s … is Chuck Klosterman’s analysis of Ted Nugent from the book “Fargo Rock City”:

“My problem with Ted Nugent is that guys who aspire to be like him – or are just like him by default – make me feel ashamed for liking hard rock. They have no sense of of humor and they beat people up and they kill cats for no reasons. They get totally f–ked up on Budweiser anytime they’re in public; if they smoke pot, they only do so when they’re already drunk, so they never get mellow … Once you become friends with these people … you can never relax. If you get drunk with these guys, they will write on your face with a black Magic Marker. They will literally p–s all over you. They will steal your car and intentionally drive it into a ditch … If you’re not consciously being an a–hole to someone else, you will become a victim. And what can you do? Nothing. And why not? Because these are your goddamn friends.”

“Too Many Cooks” from Adult Swim

This apparently aired at 4:00 am on the Adult Swim channel at some point during the last night or so in a spot normally reserved for infomercials.  It starts out as a very funny parody of really bad 1980s sitcom opening credits sequences and then goes increasingly off the rails during its 11+ minutes.  You really need to watch ALL of this.  This is pure demented genius.   Not safe for work.