This was always my favorite track of the Stooges’ legendary out-of-control 1970 masterpiece “Fun House.” When I first heard it, it reminded me a lot of early 1970s Alice Cooper, only much heavier and darker.

I swear that this next story is true, but I heard this album for the first time on the night of my first actual “date.” I didn’t have my first date until I was 17, because I had braces on my teeth until that age and felt very self-conscious about them.  When I got them off, my self-esteem rose enough to the point where I felt like I could ask someone out.  Let’s forget the fact that I rocked a Ron Burgandy “Anchorman”-do back in the day (sans pornstar ‘stache), but for argument’s sake … without the braces, I started to feel like Warren Beatty. Anyway …  the girl I asked out said “yes” and I decided we’d go see a movie.   Considering my favorite movie at the time was “Blue Velvet,” I felt that anything resembling what I was actually into would send the wrong message.  I mean, God forbid, I should actually “be myself.”   So … I overcompensated by picking a Bette Midler-Shelley Long “buddy” film called “Outrageous Fortune.”   OK …  I swear I’m not a homosexual, but back in the day, I could do a really good impersonation of one without even trying.  Considering the fact that during that period I was impressed when goth girls said I looked like Morrissey, I’m sure you can predict that this potential “romance” was doomed … You can read more about that here:

“Everyday Is Like Sunday” – Morrissey

Being nervous about my first date, I left the house incredibly early and killed time before I was supposed to show up at a local record store.  I had heard about The Stooges for years, but all of their stuff had been out of print in the U.S. for a long period of time.  So … when I saw a lone, dusty cassette of “Fun House” on the shelves, I immediately threw down by $7 and went back to the car.  I drove around for almost an hour locked into the sick, intense jams of “Fun House.”  Considering the fact that I was wearing my finest Cosby sweater and khakis, I felt that I was in the right mode to put on the charm.

Fortunately, I was wise enough NOT to play my new musical find after I picked my date up.  And … despite my best efforts … the date went pretty well.  My date ignored the film and made out with me.  But … she never returned my calls after that evening … leading to some confusion as I was not yet familiar with how these “date” things sometimes worked … but, as they say, that was that.

But the evening wasn’t a total loss.  I still crank “Fun House” at inopportune times almost 25 years later and still get sucked into the pure insanity of Iggy at his most demented.