“The Knight Ain’t Long Enough” – Genya Ravan

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Genya Ravan is one of those performers who has always been highly regarded, had multiple chances at the brass ring, but never quite got the success she so richly deserved. She’s also a kick-ass producer, having been the production brains behind The Dead Boys’ 1977 classic “Young, Loud, and Snotty.”

“The Knight Ain’t Long Enough” is from her “Urban Desire” album from 1978. Ravan is a fantastic, gutsy vocalist and this cougar anthem is so ferocious and so heavy, it would make Warren Beatty and Mick Jagger go home crying to their mothers. Key lyrics: “I’ve got a bottle of wine … a couple of lines … C’mon sweet thing, don’t make me lo-oo-oo-se my mind!!!!” Yowsah!

And yes, Ravan, is banging a cowbell in this clip. However, your snark should proceed with EXTREME caution. Ravan means business here and unless you’re ready to drop trou and get busy, she’ll eat you alive, hipster boy. Along with Garbage’s “Bad Boyfriend,” this is my favorite “bad girl” song of all time.

“Sex on Wheelz” – My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult

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It’s Friday night … time to get your freak on to something completely sleazy … this time from the early 1990s. I don’t know what they’re going for in this video. It’s like some crazy hybrid between 80s glam metal, Dee-Lite, and Nine Inch Nails. It’s what passed for “alternative culture” before the popularity of Nirvana ironically codified it into a rigid, definable style. I love Nirvana, but as the years go by, I find the “alternative culture” that flourished before Nirvana’s popularity more charming. It’s kind of like the early – mid 1970s before the Sex Pistols caught on (i.e. New York Dolls, the Dictators, Iggy and the Stooges, Pentagram), when certain folks were grasping for a style and weren’t quite sure what they put out would be cool or not. They just let their freak flag fly because they felt different and they did whatever the hell felt right.

“Stone Cold Crazy” – Queen

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Arguably the first thrash metal song. Yes, Queen was doing campy bombast at the same time they composed this little number. But the fact that this slammin’ song could appear on the same album as “Killer Queen” really speaks to how diverse Queen was as a band back in the day.

As a bonus, here’s Metallica’s inevitable, but still smokin’ cover.

“Got the Time” – Anthrax

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Here’s a deceptively unusual cover: thrash-metal legends covering New Wave king Joe Jackson’s speedy “Got the Time.” Anthrax does a damn good job on this one. I remember loving this 20+ years ago and then forgetting about it. Thank you Sirius Ozzy’s Boneyard for reminding me.

“Smartphone” – The Bayonets

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THE best song of 2013 I’ve heard so far … and a former selection by Stevie Van Zant as “Coolest Song in the World” on his Sirius Underground Garage radio station … is “Smartphone” by the Bayonets. Seriously, who can resist that swingin’ drum sound, those nasty guitars, and that organ craftily insinuating its way into your brain? This is some seriously cool s–t!

“Kick My A–” Paul Shaffer as Artie Fufkin in “This is Spinal Tap” (1984) dir. Rob Reiner

Posted on July 3, 2013 by Dave's Strange World

One of my favorite bits from “This is Spinal Tap,” this is Paul Shaffer as the unctuous and inept Polymer Records promotions man Artie Fufkin. What’s great about this scene is that Fufkin won’t allow the band the dignity of being angry with him after a screw-up. He literally throws his own dignity on the mat and stomps on it himself.

By the way, this is something I’ve been dying to do for years when offering an insincere apology, but don’t have the balls to do it, lest anyone literally take me up on my offer … or not know what the hell I’m referencing.

“See a Little Light” – Bob Mould

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Former Husker Du lead vocalist Bob Mould goes acoustic with his most famous song outside of Husker Du and the theme music for “The Daily Show.” “See a Little Light” was later the theme song for multiple TIAA-CREF ads. From Mould’s stellar “Workbook” album from 1989.

“I’ll Never Forget You” – Husker Du

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From the classic 1984 double-LP punk opera “Zen Arcade,” this is Husker Du at their most ferocious. While Bob Mould was later known for his intense and emotional acoustic songs, he positively shreds his vocal chords on this one.

“Gilligan’s Island (Stairway)” – Little Roger and the Goosebumps

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A notorious but funny piss take on Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” from the punk era. Little Roger and the Goosebumps cover “Stairway to Heaven,” but substitute lyrics from “Gilligan’s Island” instead of the ones we all know … and maybe love … does it really even matter anymore?

Way funnier than it has a right to be, even though Zeppelin’s lawyers were not amused. They threatened to sue Little Roger and the Goosebumps and demanded that all remaining copies be destroyed back in the day. Maybe Robert Plant wasn’t informed … or maybe he came around … but according to Wikipedia, he said in a 2005 NPR interview that this was his favorite cover of “Stairway to Heaven.” Now thanks to the glory of YouTube, you can check it out.

“I Think We’re Alone Now” (2008) dir. Sean Donnelly

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This has to be one of the saddest and creepiest films I’ve ever seen. This is a documentary about two VERY obsessed fans of Tiffany, the late 1980s teen-pop singer. One of which is a 50-something man with Asberger’s syndrome (who Tiffany at one point issued a restraining order against). The other is a 30-something transgender person with issues of their own. Despite the subject matter, it’s not quite the freak show you think it’s going to be. OK, it IS a bit of a freak show. But I also felt incredibly moved by these two very lonely and deluded individuals who are obsessed with a pop icon that’s over 25 years past her prime … and who wind up meeting each other 2/3 of the way through the film. You’d think these two would be perfect for each other as a romantic couple … but this is not a Hollywood rom-com. “I Think We’re Alone Now” reminds me of those immensely sad Velvet Undeground songs like “New Age” or “Candy Says” … or the version of “Madame George” Van Morrison recorded for “Astral Weeks” … in that, they seem sensationalistic, but are ultimately sad and moving tales about loneliness and the inability to connect because of tragic mental or physical chemistry.

Yes, the film seems like it was shot on someone’s phone. But when the subject matter is this rich, the technology involved is beside the point.