“Turbobitch” – The 69 Eyes

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Yes, there are bands that aspire to sound like a cross between Motorhead and the Stooges … because that’s what comes naturally to them. The 69 Eyes are from Finland and this song is from 1997. How this awesome band escaped my notice is beyond me.

From the album “Wrap Your Troubles in Dreams” (named … I think … after an ultra-cool Nico song from 1967).

“Sheela-Na-Gig” – PJ Harvey

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THE stand-out track on an album full of stand-out tracks, “Sheela-Na-Gig” is from Harvey’s ferocious 1992 classic “Dry.” The song (as well as the rest of “Dry”) s a complete stunner from beginning to end.

By the way, a “Sheela Na Gig” is an actual thing. Per Wikipedia, “Sheela na gigs (Síle na gcíoch in Irish) are figurative carvings of naked women displaying an exaggerated vulva. They are architectural grotesques found on churches, castles, and other buildings, particularly in Ireland and Great Britain, sometimes together with male figures … Ireland has the greatest number of known sheela na gig carvings … Such carvings are said to ward off death and evil.”

Allrighty then! Talk about “girl power.”

“Vive Le Rock” – Adam Ant

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In 1985, Adam Ant finally hooked up with THE definitive 70s glitter rock producer (Tony Visconti) and came up with a song that rivals classic Bowie and T. Rex (two acts that Visconti produced during their creative and professional peaks). “Vive Le Rock” has the perfect mix of heavy, layered guitars and pop hooks. It’s a song that should’ve been a monster hit (and probably would have, had it been released in 1973), but wasn’t. Fortunately, most Adam Ant “greatest hits” collections since then have the good taste to include this.

“Jesus Built My Hotrod” – Ministry (with Gibby Haynes of the Butthole Surfers)

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The single of this masterpiece collaboration between Ministry and the Butthole Surfers’ lead singer Gibby Haynes allegedly sold 1.5 million copies. Yet the song never got any higher than #19 on Billboard’s “Modern Rock Tracks” chart. Forget about the Billboard Hot 100. Absolutely no chart activity there. And this was during the era of Soundscan … which linked chart positions to actual sales. Something tells me those dang Billboard charts are rigged. Ah, who cares? This song … and video … are classics. However, what I would have given to hear Casey Kasem on American Top 40 sandwich this song between Bryan Adams and Amy Grant and come up with “fun” trivia about the completely debauched Ministry and Gibby Haynes.

“The Wild One” – Suzi Quatro

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With the exception of “Rock Hard,” recorded for the flop Robert Stigwood-produced punk rock film “Times Square,” “The Wild One” is my favorite Quatro song. I was a big fan of Quatro’s, but strangely never heard “The Wild One” until I saw “The Runaways” biopic in 2010, where the song was used over the opening credits. Quatro was too often dismissed as a gimmick back in the day, but she had a lot of great songs and a true pioneer. And if her 2006 album “Back to the Drive” is any indication, she hasn’t lost any of her talent over the years either.

The opening lines are VERY inspirational: “All my life I wanted to be somebody AND HERE I AM!!! I know what I’ve got, and there ain’t nobody gonna take it away from me.   So let me tell ya what I am!!”

“My Whole World Ended (The Moment You Left Me)” – David Ruffin

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Here’s a great song you almost never hear on Oldies stations these days … even though it was a Top 10 hit in 1969 (and got as high as #2 on the Billboard R&B charts). This is the late great David Ruffin on his first solo single after leaving the Temptations.

“Photograph” – Weezer

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From their self-titled 2001 album (also known as “the Green Album”), “Photograph” is my favorite Weezer song of all time. This is a damn near perfect pop song, overlaid with lots of guitar noise, and says what it needs to say in 2 minutes 19 seconds. In other words, my wheelhouse.

Yes, the accompanying video seems a little too self-consciously geeky, but try to ignore the visuals and groove on the song.

“Child of the Moon” – The Rolling Stones

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Another killer B-side from the Stones … this time from their 1968 hit “Jumpin’ Jack Flash.” No disrespect intended to “Flash,” but this is another B-side that would’ve been an A-side in a better world. Now available on “The Singles Collection: The London Years” boxset … which would be my Desert Island album. Yes, I realize that a 3-CD box set of the Stones singles and B-sides from 1964-1971 is cheating a bit … but if you insist on putting me on a desert island in the first place, we’re going to have negotiate a little if you don’t want to be physically harmed in the process of moving me to said island.