“Borstal Boys” – The Faces

Video

Once upon a time, there was a vocalist from England who was probably the greatest rock singer of his time (the late 1960s/early 1970s).  He achieved some critical respect as lead singer of The Jeff Beck Group and The Faces and a couple of decent solo albums.  However, he decided that critical acclaim and minor commercial success wasn’t enough … he needed greater fame.  So my theory is that he went to the same crossroads that Robert Johnson went to many years ago and made a deal with Satan for commercial success.  Satan’s deal was that this singer would record one legendary, phenomenal album (“Every Picture Tells a Story”) and then with each progressive album, the quality would go down slightly … and then keep going down.  So, the next solo album (“Never a Dull Moment”) was pretty good, but not as good as the previous endeavor … and then, this once great vocalist would progressively get worse (1978’s “D’ya Think I’m Sexy?”) … and then hitting the bottom of the barrel with sub-Tom Jones / Broadway garbage during the 1990s and 2000s that paradoxically was ridiculously successful commercially.  Rick Rubin, if you’re out there, another terrific singer on the artistic skids needs your help!!!!!

“Sister Morphine” – Marianne Faithfull

I find that this version of “Sister Morphine,” sung at the time when Marianne Faithfull was actually going through the hell of what she’s singing about, is more compelling than the version she did at the end of the 1970s. Yes, the Stones’ version on “Sticky Fingers” is damn good, but this version is better in my opinion.

“Go to Hell” – Alice Cooper

Video

If anyone wants to know what song corrupted me forever and led me down a dire musical path that has included KISS, the Sex Pistols, the Mentors, the Angry Samoans, and G.G. Allin, it was hearing (and owning!) this song at the age of 6.

Let’s take the wayback machine to Christmas 1976. I saw a K-Tel album advertised on TV that had a lot of hits of the day on it. Since some of the music sounded cool to me, I asked my parents to buy the album for me for Christmas. I didn’t get the album, but what I got was way cooler. In addition to receiving a portable record player, I got forty or so 45 RPM records. The songs were things my Mom thought was good back then, mostly MOR adult contemporary stuff (Barry Manilow, Neil Diamond). The MOR stuff also included an Alice Cooper’s ballad called “I Never Cry.” My mom thoughtfully put a check mark on the A side of each single to indicate the song to listen to … Except … She made a huge mistake on the Alice Cooper record. She accidentally checked the B side of the single instead of the A side. The B side of “I Never Cry” was “Go to Hell,” which is about “being a living obscenity” and roasting in hell forever. Not only did the song have the “7734 upside down” word in the title, but it described all kinds of things that scared (and admittedly, thrilled) me at such a young age. This record was a secret I shared with my friends at the time and we all marveled at getting away with something so dark and forbidden. Ah, those were much more innocent times. Anyway, thank you Mom for inadvertently leading me down the path of dark pop culture. I mean that with all sincerity, trust me.

“Agitated” – Electric Eels

Video

From early 1970s Cleveland, comes one of the most negative, nihilistic songs ever recorded. Look I love me some Iggy, Sex Pistols, Marilyn Manson, and GG Allin, but these cats are all Mama’s boys compared to the Eels, who allegedly only performed 5 gigs, because they’d wind up beating the crap out of each other and the audience by the end of each performance. Now, you can enjoy them from the safety of your smartphone, tablet, or computer. Ahhh, technology!

“All the Kids Are Right” – Local H

Video

Aside from a few token plays on Alternative stations in the late 1990s, this terrifically smart, sharp, and funny hard rock anthem got lost at the time of its release, apparently due to the parent record label (Polygram) being bought by Universal … or something like that. In any case, this should have been one of the biggest hits of the 1990s and is one of the best songs of that decade (or any decade for that matter). It says everything Nirvana’s “Serve the Servants” says, but with much greater wit and class.

“I’m Straight” – The Modern Lovers

Video

A straight edge anthem from the early 1970s … when it was REALLY REALLY not cool to be straight edge. Apparently, Jonathan Richman and company used to be pelted with rotten food when performing this live. I find this song hysterically funny, incredibly annoying, agonizingly heartfelt, and … very very weird. Needless to say, I’m a huge fan. The fact that the YouTube video looks like it was shot on Super 8 adds to the lo-fi, dorky appeal.

“Beautiful” – Moby

Video

While I think this is one of Moby’s best songs (though much of it musically is very reminiscent of “Southside”), the video is something else entirely. A crucial scene from Ang Lee’s “The Ice Storm” is re-imagined, but ends in a far sadder, grimmer way. While the concept may strike you at first as quirky in a bad way, stay with it. Yes, the storyline is predictable and has played out many times in all kinds of films, novels, and TV shows, but the use of people in animal costumes actually makes the climax more shattering and horrific for some reason I can’t put my finger on. One of the best music videos I have ever seen.