I may be a sicko, but there’s nothing funnier than what a previous generation thought was sexy … especially when said “sexy time entertainment” is not particularly intelligent or sophisticated. Unless of course you’re turned on by Aqua-Net drenched, silicon-packed “ladies” reading off cue cards ve-ry de-li-ber-ate-ly, while really bad sub-Kenny G saxophone music plays in the background.

Disclaimer: Please do not call any of these numbers. I have no idea if any of these numbers are still valid as some of them are over 20 years old. I sincerely hope they’re not. I’m sure all of these numbers were legitimate at some point, but many of these types of numbers were run by con men ready to add all kinds of “processing fees” to your bill and you were lucky if the “ladies” you spoke to were actual females.  While there’s no nudity or bad language in these ads, you’re an idiot if you think this is safe for work.